So tonight, I have spent an ungodly amount of time online trying to find motorcycle party supplies. My son will be five in October and is completely obsessed with motorcycles. All I could find were American Chopper themed supplies. He doesn't watch the show so I wasn't going to get that. After looking at about a million sites, I saw "screw it" and decided to go ahead with the American Chopper theme. As I was looking through the list of the supplies available and filling my online shopping cart, my son walked into my room. He saw the choppers on my screen and said, "Yuck. I hate those ugly motorcycles." So back to square one...
Ramble later,
Enid
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Wipeout
Before having my own children, I would hear stuff on the news about kids doing something stupid and saying they did it because they saw it on television. I always wondered what was wrong with the parents. What kind of example were they setting for these easily-influenced, moronic, young minds? Were they too busy clinging to their guns and religion, babbling away on some meaningless blog or playing online Mah-Jong to spend time talking with their children? Fast-forward to today, I now feel like I owe these people an apology, especially since I now sit here with one of these crazy monkey-see-monkey-do kids.
Tuesday night, I found myself waiting for something to watch. "Eureka" and "Reaper" both didn't come on until 9, which meant I couldn't even really start watching tv until about 9:20 (in order to fast forward through the commercials). So I turned on "Wipeout" just to see what the show was about. I mean, I'd seen previews but I'd never actually watched an episode. I found myself laughing hysterically and uncontrolably as I watched these grown folks try to jump on these "Big Balls." It was really quite entertaining. Since I obviously enjoying myself, this was of course a call to the wild. All three of my kids decided to join me. It held their attention and kept them quiet so kudos to ABC on that production.
Not 10 minutes after the conclusion of the show, I hear a loud thud and an even louder scream. I run to my son's bedroom to find him lying flat on his back with a bloody head. It was a tiny cut on top of a tiny knot but it was still just enough for me to know that I would be spending my entire night on Coma Watch. I was creative enough to keep him awake until 1:30. From that point on, I'd set my alarm to go off every 15 minutes and do a quick vitals check on him.
When it was time to actually get up at 8:30 yesterday morning, I felt much like I did Sunday morning. I was completely disoriented. All I wanted to do was crawl back under the sheets and slip into my own coma.
But this was not first time I've had to nurse the wounds my 4yo son has inherited from watching television. There was the free-jumping incident (courtesy of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition") and the hip-hop dance debacle of "Step Up 2." And I can't be sure which cartoon inspired him to slide down the stairs zipped up in a sleeping bag.
So basically, I'm here to apologize to all of you parents that I've prejudged and labeled as incompent, slack-assed, self-obsessed, negligent and just plain dumb. I didn't have kids...I didn't understand.
Ramble later,
Enid
Tuesday night, I found myself waiting for something to watch. "Eureka" and "Reaper" both didn't come on until 9, which meant I couldn't even really start watching tv until about 9:20 (in order to fast forward through the commercials). So I turned on "Wipeout" just to see what the show was about. I mean, I'd seen previews but I'd never actually watched an episode. I found myself laughing hysterically and uncontrolably as I watched these grown folks try to jump on these "Big Balls." It was really quite entertaining. Since I obviously enjoying myself, this was of course a call to the wild. All three of my kids decided to join me. It held their attention and kept them quiet so kudos to ABC on that production.
Not 10 minutes after the conclusion of the show, I hear a loud thud and an even louder scream. I run to my son's bedroom to find him lying flat on his back with a bloody head. It was a tiny cut on top of a tiny knot but it was still just enough for me to know that I would be spending my entire night on Coma Watch. I was creative enough to keep him awake until 1:30. From that point on, I'd set my alarm to go off every 15 minutes and do a quick vitals check on him.
When it was time to actually get up at 8:30 yesterday morning, I felt much like I did Sunday morning. I was completely disoriented. All I wanted to do was crawl back under the sheets and slip into my own coma.
But this was not first time I've had to nurse the wounds my 4yo son has inherited from watching television. There was the free-jumping incident (courtesy of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition") and the hip-hop dance debacle of "Step Up 2." And I can't be sure which cartoon inspired him to slide down the stairs zipped up in a sleeping bag.
So basically, I'm here to apologize to all of you parents that I've prejudged and labeled as incompent, slack-assed, self-obsessed, negligent and just plain dumb. I didn't have kids...I didn't understand.
Ramble later,
Enid
Monday, August 25, 2008
No, I'm not 20
This past weekend, I attended the Mid-Atlantic Mocha Moms regional conference. I had an absolute ball. Or maybe I didn't. Maybe the fact that I was away from the kids made it so wonderful. Either way, I made the best of my 30 hours away from home. Which includes hanging out all night Friday and not falling asleep until 7am. I did all of this knowing that I needed to be up at 9, 9:30 at the latest. But yet, I did it anyway.
Even with only 2 hours of sleep, I was fine. I enjoyed my breakout sessions, had a good lunch, listened to the keynote speaker without nodding off or anything. I hung out the rest of the day, chilled by the pool for a while before arriving back home at midnight.
I didn't really feel the effects of my all-nighter until my alarm went off for me to get up and get to church on Sunday morning. I felt like I'd been beat up. Stuff ached, my eyes hurt and it felt like Snoop Dogg and Amy Winehouse slept in my mouth. My head was throbbing and I had an incredible case of heartburn. I felt like I'd been drinking for a week. Which is significant because I am not a drinker. I was miserable at church. I run a children's ministry during morning service. I couldn't even get myself together to rustle up a lesson. "Okay, kids. It's free play today. Do what you want to do, just let me sit here on the couch and die. Thanks. And don't eat the crayons."
Really, what was I thinking? In 2008, anyone who's ever seen an episode of "Square Pegs" or "The Renegades" shouldn't be pulling all nighters. It's just a fact of life. That being said, I'm headed to my bedroom to watch tonight's "The Closer" and then I'm going to bed. Many hours before the sun comes up.
Ramble later,
Enid
Even with only 2 hours of sleep, I was fine. I enjoyed my breakout sessions, had a good lunch, listened to the keynote speaker without nodding off or anything. I hung out the rest of the day, chilled by the pool for a while before arriving back home at midnight.
I didn't really feel the effects of my all-nighter until my alarm went off for me to get up and get to church on Sunday morning. I felt like I'd been beat up. Stuff ached, my eyes hurt and it felt like Snoop Dogg and Amy Winehouse slept in my mouth. My head was throbbing and I had an incredible case of heartburn. I felt like I'd been drinking for a week. Which is significant because I am not a drinker. I was miserable at church. I run a children's ministry during morning service. I couldn't even get myself together to rustle up a lesson. "Okay, kids. It's free play today. Do what you want to do, just let me sit here on the couch and die. Thanks. And don't eat the crayons."
Really, what was I thinking? In 2008, anyone who's ever seen an episode of "Square Pegs" or "The Renegades" shouldn't be pulling all nighters. It's just a fact of life. That being said, I'm headed to my bedroom to watch tonight's "The Closer" and then I'm going to bed. Many hours before the sun comes up.
Ramble later,
Enid
Friday, August 22, 2008
Welcome to the Jungle!
Welcome to my blog. I have decided to set up this blog to journal my misadventures in motherhood, womanhood and homeschooling. You know, life in general. Plus, I'll have documentation as to what events lead up to my inevitable commitment to a mental health facility.
Also, I am a firm believer in the art of watching television. There's no greater feeling than putting the kids to bed, fixing a bowl of Breyer's CarbSmart Chocolate Ice Cream and cranking up the Tivo. So as a reader, you will also be subject to my recaps and Netflix movie reviews. Oh joy, I know that's what you're thinking.
I am going to try and post something, no matter how mundane, everyday. Though I'd like to have something intelligible and life-altering to contribute, don't count on it. It's very difficult to focus somedays. For example, right now, my daughters are in the kitchen screaming/crying/fighting and my son is sitting in my computer chair behind me, poking me in the back of the neck. Nothing profound was ever written while being poked in the neck by a 30lb 4 year old. I don't know this for sure but it's a pretty safe bet it's true.
I am a member of Mocha Moms, Inc. (It's a support group for SAHM of color.) Anyway, we have our regional conference this weekend in Baltimore. I'm very excited. Mostly because this will be my first night away from My Beloved Dh and the kids since they've been born. Don't misunderstand me...I love my kids dearly but a night away...pure bliss.
But this is all for today. Well, for right now anyway. It's time to get dressed and do something constructive with the natives before they kill each other.
Ramble later,
Enid
Also, I am a firm believer in the art of watching television. There's no greater feeling than putting the kids to bed, fixing a bowl of Breyer's CarbSmart Chocolate Ice Cream and cranking up the Tivo. So as a reader, you will also be subject to my recaps and Netflix movie reviews. Oh joy, I know that's what you're thinking.
I am going to try and post something, no matter how mundane, everyday. Though I'd like to have something intelligible and life-altering to contribute, don't count on it. It's very difficult to focus somedays. For example, right now, my daughters are in the kitchen screaming/crying/fighting and my son is sitting in my computer chair behind me, poking me in the back of the neck. Nothing profound was ever written while being poked in the neck by a 30lb 4 year old. I don't know this for sure but it's a pretty safe bet it's true.
I am a member of Mocha Moms, Inc. (It's a support group for SAHM of color.) Anyway, we have our regional conference this weekend in Baltimore. I'm very excited. Mostly because this will be my first night away from My Beloved Dh and the kids since they've been born. Don't misunderstand me...I love my kids dearly but a night away...pure bliss.
But this is all for today. Well, for right now anyway. It's time to get dressed and do something constructive with the natives before they kill each other.
Ramble later,
Enid
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