Wipeout

Before having my own children, I would hear stuff on the news about kids doing something stupid and saying they did it because they saw it on television. I always wondered what was wrong with the parents. What kind of example were they setting for these easily-influenced, moronic, young minds? Were they too busy clinging to their guns and religion, babbling away on some meaningless blog or playing online Mah-Jong to spend time talking with their children? Fast-forward to today, I now feel like I owe these people an apology, especially since I now sit here with one of these crazy monkey-see-monkey-do kids.


Tuesday night, I found myself waiting for something to watch. "Eureka" and "Reaper" both didn't come on until 9, which meant I couldn't even really start watching tv until about 9:20 (in order to fast forward through the commercials). So I turned on "Wipeout" just to see what the show was about. I mean, I'd seen previews but I'd never actually watched an episode. I found myself laughing hysterically and uncontrolably as I watched these grown folks try to jump on these "Big Balls." It was really quite entertaining. Since I obviously enjoying myself, this was of course a call to the wild. All three of my kids decided to join me. It held their attention and kept them quiet so kudos to ABC on that production.


Not 10 minutes after the conclusion of the show, I hear a loud thud and an even louder scream. I run to my son's bedroom to find him lying flat on his back with a bloody head. It was a tiny cut on top of a tiny knot but it was still just enough for me to know that I would be spending my entire night on Coma Watch. I was creative enough to keep him awake until 1:30. From that point on, I'd set my alarm to go off every 15 minutes and do a quick vitals check on him.


When it was time to actually get up at 8:30 yesterday morning, I felt much like I did Sunday morning. I was completely disoriented. All I wanted to do was crawl back under the sheets and slip into my own coma.


But this was not first time I've had to nurse the wounds my 4yo son has inherited from watching television. There was the free-jumping incident (courtesy of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition") and the hip-hop dance debacle of "Step Up 2." And I can't be sure which cartoon inspired him to slide down the stairs zipped up in a sleeping bag.

So basically, I'm here to apologize to all of you parents that I've prejudged and labeled as incompent, slack-assed, self-obsessed, negligent and just plain dumb. I didn't have kids...I didn't understand.

Ramble later,
Enid